Blackhawks Win 4th Straight

It's early in the season, but the Chicago Blackhawks are looking like things are starting to come together. Their shootout victory over the Vancouver Canucks last night is their fourth straight win. Despite not having many scoring opportunities, Chicago managed to prevail as Jonathon Toews, Patrick Sharp, and Patrick Kane all scored in the shootout against Roberto Luongo. Marty Turco gave up two goals in the shootout as well, but Mikael Samuelsson's shot went wide of the net, giving the Hawks the win.

Viktor Stalberg, who came over from Toronto for Kris Versteeg, scored his second goal of the season with 37 seconds remaining in the first, a beauty of a shot that sailed past Luongo. One of the motherfucking Sedin twins, Daniel, scored in the third for Vancouver to tie the game. Luongo stopped a brilliant Hossa shot in overtime to preserve the tie, but had some trouble with the shootout shots from Sharp and Kane. It appears that he sort of helped push Kane's shot over the goal line as he was sliding backward.

Marty Turco was a beast in this game, totally deserving of the Number One Star status he was awarded. Chicago heads to St. Louis on Friday to take on the Blues.

EW: The Relaunch

What's up bitches? It's been a long time since I posted here (just over a year). Things have been absolutely crazy over that time. I had back surgery at the end of last year and my wife has had her fair of health issues as well. We've also seen the Chicago Blackhawks win the Stanley Cup and watched another mediocre season of Cubs baseball come and go. For some reason it seems like the perfect time to relaunch the awesome lameness that is Effectively Wild, albeit with a few changes.

For one thing, this site will no longer just focus on Cubs baseball. I will also bring my lack of focus and consistency to Blackhawks hockey, Arsenal FC of the English Premier League/Champions League, and FC Kaiserslautern of the German Bundesliga. Why these teams? Here's why:

1. The Chicago Cubs:

A no-brainer. I've been a Cub fan since I was in the womb. My first favorite Cub was Bill Buckner. I liked his mustache. Other favorite Cubs through the years have been Mark Grace, Rod Beck, Ryne Sandberg, Andre Dawson, Rick Sutcliffe, Derrek Lee, Kerry Wood, Aramis Ramirez, Carlos Marmol, Geovany Soto, Scott Servais, Carlos Zambrano, and the man-beast that is Marlon Byrd.

Most of my Cub writing will probably still take place at Exile on Clark Street, which will also recommence posting soon.



2. The Chicago Blackhawks:

I first started watching hockey in 1998 when I was fresh out of college. I really enjoyed the Blackhawks, but it became more and more difficult to catch games on TV, especially after the lockout. I started watching again a few years ago after an endorsement by Hire Jim Essian's Bad Kermit. Hockey has no almost pulled even with baseball as my favorite sport. Favorite Hawks have been Tony Amonte, Eric Daze, Chris Chelios, Nikolai Khabibulin, Marty Havlat, Dougie Gilmore, Bob Probert, Dustin Byfuglien, Kris Versteeg, Jonathon Toews, Patrick Sharp, Duncan Keith, Niklas Hjalmarsson, Antti Niemi, and Marion Hossa.

3. Arsenal FC:

I played soccer from the age of five until I was fifteen. I fell in love all over again during the 2002 World Cup and really became interested in the game after the 2006 World Cup. I became enamored with Thierry Henry, which led me to Arsenal FC. Henry may not be there any longer, but I still catch the Gunners whenever I can. I love their style of play, even though they can be frustrating at times. Some favorite Arsenal players are: Thierry Henry, Bacary Sagna, Samir Nasri, Cesc Fabregas, Philip Senderos, Theo Walcott, Jack Wilshire, and Andrey Arshavin.


4. FC Kaiserslautern:

I started watching the German Bundesliga this season, mainly because this club was able to secure promotion from Germany's second tier league. My family and I lived in Kaiserslautern when I was very young while my father served in the Air Force. Kaiserslauutern is where I first played the beautiful game, albeit not beautifully. When I read online that Kaiserslautern had been promoted back into the Bundesliga, I knew I had to watch as many games as I could. I haven't seen enough games to really have favorite players yet, but so far I really dig Srdjan Lakich.

Please Don't Leave Carlos!

I know it's been quite a while since I posted here, but I already posted a Carlos Zambrano post on TMS and I still haven't quite vented out my spleen at the retards trying to run El Toro Loco out of town.

I only wish that Carlos himself could read these words, because I imagine he's feeling pretty fucking frustrated at the moment. Carlos has been the best pitcher on the Cubs' staff nearly every year he was in the rotation and this year he has not. He was derailed by some injuries that might have been preventable, but probably not. As someone with a back injury himself whose right sciatic nerve feels like someone poured a boiling hot vat of acid on it, I can only express my admiration for a man who can pitch with a back injury. I've barely managed to crawl out of bed in the mornings to go to a data entry job. But I digress.

I just want to say that Big Z is fucking awesome. When he's on, he's unstoppable. Not only can he pitch, but he swings the bat pretty good and is an excellent athlete. Any time he's had a problem or issue, he works to correct it. Over the years, he has matured and learned how to keep his temper under control (for the most part). I see a big difference between today's Big Z and the pouty childman of years gone past. If you honestly can't tell the difference, then you haven't been paying attention.

So when asshats like Paul Sullivan start rumors that the Cubs are looking to trade Zambrano and other douchetrucks pick up on it and browbeat the guy with questions about said rumor, it pisses me off. I'm sick of these reporters harassing my guys until they elicit the explosion they're looking for and then talk about what a hothead the guy being harassed is. Quit forcing the issue.

If all of this causes the Cubs to lose one of the best pitchers the team has had in the course of my lifetime, then they are truly stupid. Palin level stupid. And I will hate them forever for it.

Big Z, amigo, if you do get to read this, don't go. Fuck those guys. Stay and be our Z Money. Retire a Cub, if for no other reason then to piss the sportswriters off. And stay for me. I love you, man. In a totally platonic, bromance kind of way.

Happy (belated) Birthday, Shooter

Mired in my own myopic depression, I neglected to note that Monday, August 3rd, was Rod Beck's birthday. Even though this site is no longer The Shooter's Lounge, Rod Beck remains the Patron Saint of Effectively Wild. So a belated happy birthday to the Shooter. There's a six pack of Coors Light on the Shooter Shrine in my basement. Cheers, amigo.

Outlaw Nation

The Cubs were already dangerous and more than a little bit crazy, but all that would change when the Dark Stranger rode into town. Forget that "Behold a pale horse" nonsense, as this man was dark as pitch with a temper that could not be tamed. Let umpires and Gatorade dispensers be afraid, as The Bradley Gang is born. (Cue the Ennio Morricone music).

The Ringleader: Milton Bradley





















The Right Hand Man: El Toro Loco




















The Assassin: The Iceman




















The Hired Gun: The Shooter





















The Annoying Sidekick: Dempster Red





















The Hard Case: Coy "Lefty" Hill



















The Gamblers: The Cajun Connection




















The Big Boss Man: Sweet Uncle Lou




















The Majors will never be the same again.

Banner Day: Cubs Win Two In A Row, Send Cotts Packing

Today was a good day, unless you're a Gatorade dispenser. The Cubs won their second game in a row behind the effort of Carlos Zambrano, who got tossed out of the game after arguing a safe call with umpire Mark Carlson. After ejecting Carlson from the game, El Toro Loco whipped his glove against the wall and took a bat to the recently repaired Gatorade dispenser victimized earlier in the week by Ryan Dempster. Thankfully, the Cubs new arrivals, Andres Blanco & Jake Fox made an impact, as well as Reed Johnson, who hit a homer to give the Cubs the lead in the 8th.

Even better than the Cubs winning back to back games was the demotion of ineffective lefty reliver Neal Cotts, long the bane of this and other Cubs' sites. Some advice: stay gone Neal. Don't come back.

Paul Sullivan says the Cubs are becoming a team of outlaws with the umpires. I say Outlaw On, so long as they win.

Koyie Hill: 12 Hits and Counting

Koyie Hill continues to hit the ball whenever he starts games. He's got 12 hits for the season in 13 games. Paul Bako hasn't sniffed the majors this year, having signed a minor league deal with the Phillies after his release. Maybe it's time to hang up the Tools of Ignorance, Gabor.

21-17: The Cubs Suck Donkey Balls

Okay, the Cubs are 4 games above .500. They have a better record then they did at this time last year. But sweet Jebus, even when they win it looks ugly. Holy Fuck, they got shut out by Joel Pinero the other night and were on the verge of being shut out two nights in a row until they managed to squeeze out one measly run in the 9th last night. I know Ramirez is out for a while, but with guys like Lee, Bradley and Soriano in the lineup, I still expect a little bit of offense. Lilly and Dempster both provided soild starts, only to get hosed by a complete lack of run support. In other upsetting news:

The Padres have agreed to trade Jake Peavy to the White Sox. It's now up to Peavy to decide if he wants to pitch in the American League or not. After all the Peavy to Cubs hype at the beginning of the year, it'll be such a joke to see him go to the South Side. All of Hendry's machinations and it's Kenny Williams who sneaks in to close the deal. According to Peavy's agent, Peavy is leaning toward declining the trade, but he doesn't take into account how much this will frustrate the fuck out of a great number of idiot Cub fans who somehow feel entitled to Peavy. Look for the deal to happen for that reason alone.

The Indians have put Mark DeRosa on the trading block. The Mets are interested, as are many other teams. There's probably no chance the Cubs try to reacquire him and even if they did, no way we could trade them the shitty package we got for DeRosa in the off-season. It would also require Jim Hendry to eat some crow and admit he made a mistake, which is about as likely as me winning a Mr. Universe contest (Like most bloggers, I'm fat and unattractive). I would try to get him back, as I think the Cubs could use both his versatility and his leadership in the clubhouse. It would also allow us to ditch Aaron Miles and use DeRosa at third and Bobby Scales to play second full time. Let the Cajun Hobbitt return to being a nice left-handed bat off the bench, a role he excelled in last year. The way this season is going so far, I predict DeRosa ends up a Cardinal or a Brewer, which will totally piss me off.

Koyie Hill-11 hits and counting

Koyie notches another hit, another square comes off the board. Anyone miss Paul Bako yet? Didn't think so.

Koyie Hill-10 Hits and Counting

10 hits for Koyie Hill. 3 more squares come off the board.