Koyie Hill-10 Hits and Counting

10 hits for Koyie Hill. 3 more squares come off the board.

Koyie Hill Appreciation Society 2

As of April 26th, Koyie Hill has 7 hits. So 7 random squares have been removed. Viva Koyie Hill!

Koyie Hill Appreciation Society

Welcome to the first KHAS Post. EW is thrilled that Koyie won the backup catcher job over the corpse of Paul Bako. Every time Koyie Hill gets a hit, we will remove a section of the included picture. Enjoy!

MB's Neighborhood: My First Chicago Suspension

Man, can you believe this shit? A two game suspension? First of all, that fucking pitch was inside. If it were any more inside it would have brushed against my cock. Second of all, I never touched that fat idiot Vanover. He can kiss my ebony ass. Just one more case of the umpires having it in for MB. I gotta call bullshit. I'm gonna appeal this thing. It's a matter of honor, man.

At least we're winning. I'm working hard, trying to get back into shape so I can help out. Maybe Lou will let me pitch. I can't be any worse than that cracker Neal Cotts. He keeps walking guys, me and Ted Lilly are gonna take him for a drive.

5-2: Seven Days Down

Well, it's been a helluva week thus far in the 2009 baseball season. The Cubs are 5-2 despite being without the services of Geovany Soto and having one of the worst bullpens I can recall seeing. Personally, I'd ship Neal Cotts, Angel Guzman and Kevin Gregg off on a Turkish freighter and see what I could scrounge up from the minors or the Japanese and Korean leagues to replace them. We've also seen the first incident of Milton Bradley leaving a game accompanied by a trainer, ably replaced by Stuntman Johnson, who absolutely robbed Fat Prince of a grand slam on Sunday. Let this blog join the rallying cry of those calling for Carlos Marmol to replace Kevin Gregg as Cubs' closer, if only to rack up numbers on Marmol-Nation.

There's also been a trifecta of tragedy in the opening week, as the Angels lost young hurler Nick Adenhart, killed meaninglessly by a drunk fuckstick who apparently couldn't have taken a cab. I hope you and your ilk rot a long time in jail, sir. Adenhart was the #1 prospect of the Angels system and had just pitched six scoreless earlier in the day. What a waste.

The Phillies were struck next, as longtime announcer Harry Kalas died before he was to broadcast the game Monday. My heart goes out to the Phillie faithful and their organization. I remember how my guts were torn out when Harry Caray passed away in 1998. Sometimes you don't realize just how much you get used to hearing these guys call the games year in and year out until they're gone. I never heard Harry Kalas call a game, but if he was half as loved in Philadelphia was Harry Caray was in Chicago, then he will be sorely missed.

Also on Monday, the baseball world lost Mark "The Bird" Fidrych, a pitcher for the Detroit Tigers best known for his colorful antics. I had heard of The Bird and noted that he won Rookie of the Year in 1976, the year I was born. Apparently he died in an accident at his home while working on a truck.

In addition, the Mets opened their new stadium last night and were beaten by the Padres. Suck it, New York. I wasn't even alive in '69, but you still irritate me. Pretty park though, with the Ebbetts Field touches. Too bad it has to be inhabited by the Mets. I did enjoy the cat on the field however.

Tomorrow, MLB honors Jackie Robinson as all players will wear 42 in honor of one of the classiest, bravest men to ever put on a baseball uniform. Or pants. I still believe one of baseball's best moves was to retire Robinson's number league wide. Now if only Marino Rivera would quit wearing it. I know you're one of the best closers of all time, but still. You couldn't wear Jackie's jock, Mr. Rivera. Let it go. I'd also like to see Roberto Clemente's #21 retired league wide as well, as a reminder to players that you need to be more than just good athletes, you need to be good men as well. Just my two cents . . .

MB's Neighborhood: Opening Day

Me and the fellas are in Houston to open the season. Woo-ee what a first game! We beat those rednecks good. Spring Training was pretty awesome, but it's nice to be playing games that count again. Did you see that double play I made? Now that was some sweet fielding. Of course the dick that runs this site puts up the pic of the ball I missed. Bet that play had all you Cub fans pissing in your diddies, huh?

One thing I have to say, is that this team needs more brothers. Don't get me wrong, D-Lee is cool, but in that non-offensive, Will Smith kinda way. And there's just loads of crazy crackers on this team, like Theriot and those little guys who play second base. I don't know their names, they all look kind of alike to me. I love those hobbitts though. Can you imagine if the Cubs had gotten Gary Sheffield? Me and Sheff on the same time, hah! We wouldn't have to play a game again, everybody be too scared to play the Cubs. Me and Sheff, that's crazy times two. That'd be some good times.

1-0: A Promising Start

My wife has been sick lately, which is why I haven't been keeping up with this blog or contributing as much at Thunder Matt's Saloon, but I would be completely remiss if I didn't post something about Opening Day. El Toro Loco was pretty good against the hated Astros, despite a few shaky moments. He wasn't as sharp as he could have been, but he got the job down, escaping from a couple of jams. Carlos Marmol was a beast, Neal Cotts was scary, Aaron Heilman was solid, and Kevin Gregg coughed up a run, but still nailed down his first save as a Cub.

The offense jumped right in with Soriano and Ramirez homers to lead of the first and second innings. The Cajun Connection turned in the third run of the game when The Riot sacrificed in Mighty Mike Fontenot. Micah Hoffpauier drove in the 4th run and gave the DLee haters more grist for their mill. Geo caught a solid game and Milton Bradley turned in some spectacular defense. All in all, a great start for the Boys in Blue.

I wish I had Tivo, as tonight's game runs against the Blackhawks and my wife's favorite TV shows on CBS. Gee, I wonder who will win this battle.