48-29: Streak Snapped At 14 Games

Wow, it's been a while since I posted, so I'll bet the three of you losers who read this site were pretty disappointed, huh? Let's just say that the family had a bunch of medical issues this week, both human and feline, but things seem to be back on the upswing. Since I've been gone a while, I have some shit to get off my chest:

First of all, the Soto-Rooter has been updated. The bad thing about that is his batting average seems to keep falling. Come on Geovany. If you really want Rookie of the Year, you need to hit, big boy. Of course, an All-Star appearance won't hurt the cause and that's looking pretty likely.

Second, Rod Beck's Mustache has a message for my brother in law, who predicted the White Sox would sweep the Cubs over the weekend. The message reads: "Seriously? You thought the Pale Hosers would sweep? At Wrigley? Dude."

Third, a message to the White Sox organization in general. When the fuck did the White Sox turn into the whiny kid from next door who hates you? This kid has all the shiny new stuff that you don't, and he brags about having the shiny new stuff, but he still is jealous of you for some reason and feels the need to rag on your broken down shit. I just don't get it. The White Sox won a WORLD SERIES in 2005. Their ballpark, although somewhat lacking in character, is newer than Wrigley Field. They currently reside atop the AL Central despite NO ONE even remotely thinking they had a chance to be there. And are they happy about it? Oh, hell no. (And White Sox fans, this isn't aimed at you. I know plenty of Sox fans who are happy as clams. That's cool. I'm not interested in dissing you guys, so don't freak out.) Instead, their douchenozzle of a manager talks about the rats at Wrigley being the size of pigs. AJ Eyechart asserts Cub fans are "idiots". Some rookie douchewad I've never heard of tells us Wrigley Field smells like urine. The GM even gets in on the act, by telling us he'd have to be desperate to take a job with the Cubs. Like we'd want him. Jim Hendry may be far from perfect, but he's made some pretty big deals. And no, we haven't won a World Series, but I don't understand why Kenny Williams is upset because Cub fans didn't really care whether or not the Sox won a Series. What did he think would happen exactly? Did he think that the second the Sox got the final out against Houston that Cub fans would suddenly decide en masse to throw their blue hats into the gutter, scream "I've been wasting my life on my bullshit team!" and just give up and become Sox fans? It doesn't work that way, Kenny. Sure, there are some bandwagon jumpers who will hop on and off as the team performs well or poorly, but those are the same nitwits you see walking around Chicago wearing Red Sox or Yankee hats when those teams do well. Do you really want those assholes anyway? Don't act like I owe you allegiance just because you guys ended your drought first. I'm proud to say that I didn't root against the Sox in 05 (They were playing the Astros, whom I loathe beyond all possible reason, so it was pretty much a no brainer.) but I'm never going to become a Sox fan. it just isn't going to happen, Kenny. Bears fans don't become Packer fans, Yankee fans don't become Red Sox fans, Dale Jr fans don't become Jeff Gordon fans, so I'm not sure why you have this unrealistic expectation of Cub fans. I wasn't upset that the Sox won in 05, but I just wasn't all that excited either. Sorry, but it meant about as much to me as when the Angels won in 02, the Marlins in 03, the Red Sox in 04, blah blah blah. The only WS I've given a shit about lately is when the Dbacks beat the Yankees in 01, and that was only because my childhood hero, Mark "Slumpbuster" Grace got an effing ring out of it. The Sox are just another team to me, Kenny. What does upset me is you telling me how I should feel about your team and thinking I'm somehow a bad baseball fan for not embracing the Sox like a long lost brother. To me the standings don't matter, the attendance doesn't matter, none of it matters save that the Cubs were the team I grew up rooting for, the team that I'm stubbornly loyal to. Shit, why don't you ask me to root against my alma mater too, because that makes about as much sense. So White Sox organization and players, stop the pity party. You have a loyal group of dedicated fans. Why do you need us to acknowledge you and why do you feel the need to take shots at our team? Show some class and realize that there are some people you just ain't gonna win over.

Fourth, Aramis Ramirez. Don't ever change baby. I love you just the way you are. Does that make me gay? Nobody tell my wife. Seriously though, this weekend was badass. Stay a Cub forever, Rami. You keep hitting like this and I'll buy you some fucking chickens.

Fifth-how could we blow our fourteen game home winning streak by losing to the Orioles? Bases loaded, bottom of the 9th, down two, no outs. Three straight Ks for Sherrill. Holy Shit. I'm still shocked at how bad he made Fukudome look. Still, you can't win 'em all. Take the next two, we're still golden.

Sixth-What the shit is this hottest Cub fan/hottest Sox fan bullshit on the Sun-Times website? Isn't it enough that we have to play six games against the Southsiders? Just keep stirring that pot motherfuckers. Maybe a real news story will sneak up on you while you're looking for baseball fans in thongs.

That's enough for now. See ya on the flip side.