Welcome to the Wild

Effectively Wild is your place for mediocre coverage of the Chicago Cubs, Chicago Blackhawks, Arsenal FC, and FC Kaiserslautern.

Monday, June 9, 2008

Guilty Pleasure: Ice Road Truckers

Ordinarily, I want to watch reality TV as much as I want to see Ray King in Jason Giambi's tiny gold banana hammock, but there's just something about this show. Big rigs have always fascinated me, even though I can barely drive a standard transmission equipped automobile myself. The idea that some moron would actually risk life and limb driving a massive vehicle overloaded with heavy equipment over frozen water intrigues me. My wife and I watched the entire first season of said show and I actually find the show so compelling that I skipped an hour of the Cub game Sunday night to watch the season 2 premiere. That descion was made fairly easy by the fact that the game was on ESPN and listening to Joe Morgan and his personal ballwasher Jon Miller makes me physically ill.

This season, four of the drivers from the first season are off to a different location to transport supplies to a natural gas operation. They're even further north this year, which means temperatures are colder and not only will they drive across frozen lakes, but they will actually drive over frozen portions of the Arctic Ocean! Holy. Fucking. Shit. You have to admire a guy who's willing to drive a truck over frozen ocean. That's a pretty scary thought. In fact, they show a couple of the guys heading north to the natural gas refinery and they're driving next to boats that are frozen in place. That's pretty messed up.

Not to recap the whole episode, but one scene struck me as completely retarded. One of the guys from last year was this pissant whiner named Drew. He didn't make it through last season and this year he signs up to drive, hoping to prove himself and get some retribution on one of the other guys, who fired him during the first season. So you're going up to the frigid north, where's it's like 50 fucking below or some shit and this nozzle leaves his jacket at home. He misses a chance to go on a run because he has no jacket or cold weather gear and the guy he was hoping to show up is set to go. I'm no trucking genius, but if I'm heading above the Arctic Circle, I'm bulkier than the Michelin Man. I've got long underwear, coveralls, a parka, and as many layers as I can cram under said parka. I'm wearing all that shit indoors too, cuz you never know man. What a choad. Then selfsame nozzle sits around for the first day and because he doesn't get a load he quits. Without ever even driving mile one. What a douche. At least last season you made six trips before being a little pussy and getting fired.

I'm sure the NASCAR crowd watches this in the hopes of seeing someone fall through the ice and die, but I can't really give you a good reason why it fascinates me. Only one of the guys, Alex, is really likable, although maybe some of the guys they'll show in season 2 will be as well. Maybe it's just the idea that someone would do something so dangerous to make a living and it makes me count my blessings that although my job might suck, at least it's not going to kill me in an instant if I fuck up or just have a spat of dumb luck. Or maybe it's the rugged individualism of the men who do this for a living and I'm really queer for that. Hell if I know. Still, a guilty pleasure to watch.

BallHype: hype it up!

No comments: