The Cubs took 2 of 3 from the Cardinals over the weekend, with Kerry Wood's Closer Beard blowing Saturday's game. Unofficial word was the Beard was hungover after tearing St. Louis a new one Friday night. The Shooter's Mustache and the Beard decided to take Jim Edmonds out on the town and "make a man out of him". Apparently, it's working as Edmonds and former boss Tony LaRussa traded barbs in the media during the series. Jesus, no wonder Scott Rolen wanted out of St. Louis so bad. I'm still on the fence about Jim Edmonds, but this goes a long way towards making him actually somewhat likable. I think if the Cubs ever hired Mr. Sunglasses to run the team, I just might have to kill myself. What a fuckin' nightmare that would be.
The worst news of the weekend is that C.C. Sabathia is apparently destined to become a Sausage Slinger this weekend, which really blows ass. C.C. and El Toro Loco could have been the best pound for pound 1-2 punch in the bigs, but alas, it's not meant to be. Is this LaPorta kid really that good? That leaves the Cubs still looking to add some rotation depth, although the big kid, Sean Marshall, certainly looked good yesterday against the Birds. Some options that appear to be available:
A.J. Burnette-nice stuff when he's healthy, seems kind of churlish for a guy who's been disabled much of the past few seasons. The Blue Jays supposedly want a shortstop upgrade. would Cedeno be considered an upgrade? Over Eckstein? Maybe.
Greg Maddux-Certainly the feel good, warm n' fuzzy trade option. I'd love for Greg to finally finish out his career in the blue pinstripes, but I'm not sure he's a legit upgrade over pupil Sean Marshall at this point. I love the Mad Dog and he's a competitor, but PetCo is helping him an awful lot.
Erik Bedard-I remember when the Cubs were trying to get the Orioles to trade us Tejada and Bedard for Prior and some other crap. The Orioles decided to pass, but did offer Tejada for Prior straight up, I believe. One of Jim Hendry's rare miscues there, the other biggie being Nolasco, Pinto, and Mitre for Juan Pierre. I don't know about you, but Nolasco would look pretty effing sweet in our rotation right about now. And Pierre? He still sucks. But Bedard is an intriguing possibility, although he seems a little inconsistent to me.
Randy Wolf-I like Randy Wolf, he's recovered well from his injury, but like Maddux, his value is inflated by the park he pitches in. He gives up too many gopher balls for me to be comfortable bringing him to Wrigley.
Aaron Cook-would be awesome, but he's apparently not available. Not even for Matt Murton and a couple minor league pitchers if Holiday is traded? Rockies would be crazy not to at least listen.
Zack Greinke-The boys at Thunder Matt's Saloon posited this one the other day and I love it. Completely hypothetical, since the Royals thus far haven't mentioned his name as being available, but Greinke is freaking filthy. His head finally seems screwed on straight, although one wonders how he'd handle pitching in a pennant race. Be nice if there'd be some way to squeeze Lahay out of the Royals as well. That'd bolster the rotation as well as give us a lefty out of the pen who can, you know, get guys out and stuff. Kind of important.
The Cubs roll on to Cincinnati for the next leg of the punishment tour. Seven Cub All-Stars include: El Toro Loco, Canadian Bacon, The Soto-Rooter, Fukkake, ARam, The Beard, and No Show. Rock on.
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