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Wednesday, April 16, 2008

8-5: Stop the Hop

First, a personal note to Alfonso Soriano. Oh, Alfonso Soriano. You know, the hop was cute for a while. Everyone had a good laugh, it looked like you were having a good time, blah, blah, blah. Then last night you do your little goofy hop, land funny and have to be helped off the field with a calf strain. For doing something completely unnecessary to catch the ball. I like you, Soriano. I really do. Some people said you were a selfish player. I really think Frank Robinson might have beaten the last of that out of you in DC. You seem to really enjoy playing the game and seem to genuinely enjoy the attention of the fans in left field. So here’s a piece of advice, my Dominican friend. Let me tell you about another young man, also Dominican. He also liked to hop, although he would do his after each home run, and his always seemed more like a fuck you, slap in the face to the other team, as well as a hey, look at me cry for attention. I would implore you to drop the hop upon your return, Alfonso. I know you’re just having a good time, but it be construed by the other team and fans as showboating and I don’t think that’s the image you wish to present. After all, showboating only leads to hurt feelings and hurt feelings lead to fastballs in the ribs. You seem like a good guy to me, a guy who really loves the game. Please don’t go the route of that other Dominican. I think you’re better than that.

On to the game. The Cubs pulled this one, due to some intestinal fortitude by Ryan Dempster, who gave up some runs, but still looked pretty damn good out there. In addition, Derrek Lee’s beard went 3-5 with a home run and 3 RBIs. Why don’t all the Cubs man up and grow some facial hair already? Couldn’t hurt. DeRosa hit a home run that wasn’t foul and Ryan Theriot somehow managed to shoot one over the fence as well. Gotta love that wind, baby. Mike Fontenot and DBeast turned in some fine defense as well as the Cubs beat the Reds 9-5, moving them to 8 and 5 on the year and into a tie for 2nd with the Sausage Slingers of Wrigley North.

149 more of these to go. If most of them are like this, the Cubs should be looking pretty good at season’s end.

BallHype: hype it up!


bfadds said...

Amen! Stop the hop! You know what it is? No one has every really trained this guy to play in the outfield. He looked like the was skipping over an imaginary second base getting ready to turn a double play! He throws sidearm/submarine from the OF! He should be in the AL DHing for a team... not pretending to be an OF in the NL. I have him on my fantasy team and I've begun the process of finding a replacement player... Here's hoping he gets back soon.

LoserPoet said...

Sorry to hear you got stuck with Alf in your fantasy league, bfadds. I would agree that no one properly taught him how to play OF. I like the guy and once he warms up, he certainly can hit, but his defense is still very suspect. Just think, we have him for the next seven seasons.